Buddha Didnt Hear Me!!
Life Before Knowing Christ
I came from a Buddhist background. As a kid I was taught to treat people with respect and kindness, and to be a selfless person. I thought as long as I treat people the way I want to be treated, life would be a piece of cake. But that was not the case.
My story began after I came to this country. Not only was I challenged by culture shock, I was mocked, bullied, oppressed, humiliated and robbed. The man that I trusted with my life turned out to be the worst nightmare in my life.
After eight years of cruel mental abuse I got divorced and I became single parent with 4 kids, my youngest one was 7 months old at that time. I thought now that after I was divorced I would be saved, but that was not the case either. The abuse continued. I was mentally crippled!
I thought “death” was the only way out. I felt so alone. My families were 26,000 miles away, who would I call for help? I was brainwashed and I believed that no one would believe me, no one would care. I became very fearful, resentful, angry, hateful, hopeless and unforgiving, not knowing that I was my worst enemy.
My children were the only hope I had. Somehow I managed to raise them single-handedly and put my oldest son in college. I became a proud mother with four straight “A” students. I bragged, I boasted, I took the merit. I thought if it wasn't for me, they wouldn't be here. I was prideful!
I thought everything was going to be ok then, but the abuse continued, but this time, it was directed towards my daughter.
How My Life Changed Forever
In 2003 I lost my daughter to my ex-husband. I fought, but I was defeated. I cried out to god (my Buddhist god) and he did not hear me. I felt totally helpless! The thought of suicide came across my mind and I was living in torment.
Finally I confided in a friend of mine and he told me that I needed to receive Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and that Jesus was the only one who could help me. Although I was in desperation and the end of my rope, I told my friend, "No way am I going to change my religion". Nevertheless, my friend insisted on praying for me and wanted me to pray with him. I went along so that he would get this "Jesus thing" off my back.
Then, one Sunday night as I was flipping through the channels on TV, Joel Osteen was on. Somehow I stopped at that channel and I began to listen to him. To my surprise, I felt that he was talking to me! His message pierced my heart. I began to weep and felt this tremendous pain in my heart like a heart attack. Joel was saying, “God loves you, He wants the best for you, He will never leave you nor forsake you, He is a good God and He loves you”.
I sat four feet away from the TV and cried like a baby, I felt love, I saw hope. I told myself, “God loves me, He knows what I have been through, He loves me!!” At the end of the program Joel invited his TV audience to say this prayer and receive Christ. I closed my eyes and prayed with all my heart. I repeated every word Joel said. At the time, I had no idea what I was praying. I didn't understand what “I repent of my sin” meant. All I knew was that “God loves me and He cares about me”. Since that day, my life has never been the same.
My Life With God
After that night, for some supernatural reason, my heart desired to know Jesus.I began to watch sermons on TV. Faithfully, every Sunday from 8:00-11:00 am, and every chance I got I took notes. I listened attentively for a year.
My relationship with the Lord grew and grew and I was transformed little by little. I learned how to pray, and joined the local church. I joined a small group at church and was baptized.I even invested $10.00 and bought a bible from Wal-Mart, the best investment I ever made! Now, I sing Psalms, I worship and I study bible truth.
Life is good, life is really good. I am wiser, stronger and happier. I was lost, but now I am found. I learned to forgive and I have forgiven my ex-husband and all those who crossed my ways. I no longer take credit for my children’s achievements but I boldly proclaim: "ITS GOD’S GRACE!!".
God changed my life and gave me hope. But you can’t know God if you don’t know Jesus. In John 14:6 Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to my Father but by Me".
I am now a new creation in Christ Jesus, my life is filled with hope, joy, peace and love.