What’s the Husband’s Role in Renewing Love in Marriage?

Good news! The Bible lists 12 helps for men in renewing love in marriage. The list is located in Paul’s letter to the Ephesian people in chapter 5:21-33.

As husbands get a handle on these things, liquid love begins to flow and marriage renewal becomes a near certainty. On the other hand, if we don’t do these things, we find the reasons why a marriage fails.

12 Mandates for Renewing Love in Marriage

1 Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ Mutuality goes a long way to solving marriage problems and building a trust relationship.

2 Male Leadership, or as the Bible puts it, “The husband is the head of the wife.” This does NOT mean the man is to dominate or be dictator over his wife; rather, he is to lay down his own life and will just as Christ does for the church.

3 Serve as Savior of his wife. Savior is a strong term and suggests we do everything possible to protect, preserve, heal and forgive our wives.

4 Love your wife. How do we as husbands go about renewing love in marriage? Go to “the Love Chapter” (I Corinthians 13) and ask God’s help to do what it says.

5 Give ourselves up for her. This may be hard, guys, yet it’s the crux of the matter. It’s what Christ did for us. How can a woman resist when she knows down deep in the core of her psyche that her husband is laying down his life (sacrificing his choices) for hers?

6, 7 Sanctify and Cleanse her by the washing of water with the word. The word of God purifies. The power of a purified life is hard to resist. When a woman senses a man genuinely trying to follow God and the Bible, she respects him. Her respect releases his love. Soon the snowball effect of renewing love in marriage gets going.

8 Present her in glory. Every woman likes to be honored. Honor her in front of others. Get dressed in your finest and take her to a fine restaurant. Give her a corsage. Think of what will honor your wife and try it.

9 Nourish her. Wives desire, even long for, emotional support. Listen to her attentively, look into her eyes. You’re on your way to renewing love in marriage.

In the Spiderman 3 fantasy thriller, Mary Jane suffers a career setback. The critics give her a scathing review and she ends up getting fired. Peter Parker, who genuinley loves her, tries to encourage her. "You were great," he says, but then goes on to talk about himself. "I face critics all the time," responds Peter in a complete lack of male empathy. MJ is left feeling uncherished and empty. What does she do? She calls Peter's rival Harry. Harry listens and empathises with her. She feels emotionally nourished and ends up in his arms.

10 Cherish her. Let her know and feel she’s the only girl in the world in your eyes!

11, 12 Leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife. One of the chief reasons why a marriage fails is because a man sides with his parents against his wife. It’s not only wives who need to cut the apron strings!

Failure to develop any one of the 12 mandates may become a reason why a marriage fails. But take heart and read Ephesians 5 in context. The section begins with the command, “Be filled with the Spirit. . .” As a man gets filled with the Holy Spirit, God’s power comes on him. We men can do these things only by the power of the Holy Spirit. With His help we’re on our way to renewing love in marriage!

--submitted by Mark Anderson

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